cRooKEd !!!

"Mathematics"-the word spelled terror for me! Algebraic equations and the Trigonometry came to haunt my nightmares. One of the worst being myself stabbed repeatedly by an 'integral' and then my body 'differentiated'!!There is no end to the story of my sufferings at the hands of this merciless subject and endurance hit an all time low when i was in my ninth!

The incessant rebuke from parents and even frequent flunking in exams forced me to resort to an option i had dreaded all while.,TUTION.. and before you start smirking,the best part is yet to come. I was sent to Lakshmi Madam for the damn tutions. For those who are ignorant about Lakshmi miss,its pretty hard to get you acquainted with with her in words.Nevertheless i'll give it a shot.













Laksmi teacher is one who reminds me of the infamous role of THILAKAN in the film SPADIKAM(starring Mohanlal). The rough 'nails-on-wall' voice was well suited by the sarcasm if not anger(dunno which) painted all over.She treasured her ugly wicked stare which she threw out in abundance at any sign of infidelity while in class. This particularly infamous stare is something worth mentioning.It existed for one whole minute at the end of which the offender would obviously be shredded to pieces and consumed by his own sense of guilt(i would say fear is the right feeling though she claims otherwise).

This being said,the occasional breaks she gave was a huge relief and something to look forward to.Breaks meant incessant chatter and a respite from the cruel head crunching numbers and weird symbols with even strange names. Breaks also meant time to check out the girls in the class and making fun of the one sitting near you.The story i'm about to tell you happened on one such breaks.

It was a weekend and as expected Lakshmi teacher was struck with this impromptu idea of a marathon class. The class as always started on time and me as always arrived well past due. I got a seat near the front row near the girls,and before you run off with the idea that i came late on purpose i must add that the seat was much closer to where the teacher was seated and hence despised by the rest.

The class went on as usual with the mindless and unyielding calculations and symbols that made you drowsy.I sat staring at the numbers on my note book which seemed to pile up and i was not getting anywhere.Besides,as if the numbers tormenting me was not enough my friend 'Netholi'(the real name concealed but its rather evident i guess) who sat along with me were in a particularly 'pricky' mood of his was irritating me like anything.

Break time soon came and Lakshmi teacher left the class amidst much din which she sportingly ignored.This was payback time. I asked another of my fellow student Visakh to hold Netholi still.The plan was to smear chalk powder all over his face.This done,i put my hand out to grab some chalk powder from the black board without turning...

What i realized late was that fate had planned an even dirty prank for me.Instead of the black board my hand went towards a girl sitting besides our bench(as she had also come late) and the poor me assuming it was the board grabbed on it only to realize it was her shawl.Sensing something had gone wrong i turned only to see the girl pulling the shawl away and giving me a filthy stare! Expecting her hands to grace my cheeks any moment,i watched her flabbergasted. She flipped her head back and went back to what she was doing.

The real story ends here,though it was not to be. Netholi and Visakh were not ones who knew what 'discretion' was. They roared out laughing and spent no time in taking the story to everyone else in the class and in five minutes i was virtually a cooked rooster! Later on different version of the story started pouring out thanks to the two. They colored me into a sex craving lunatic who had stealthily pulled the girls shawl but caught red handed!The two even went on to put them as heroes who had saved the girl from the clutches of the evil me!

There it is. The story that had plauged me for years and maybe more to come. The girl's name is not mentioned as expected over concern over my own well being!

p.s: the story is true and could be verified with the persons mentioned,though i strictly warn the reader against that!